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Joke of the Day
"What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up? Oh My Gourd!"
Next Joke
"How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, ""How many women have you slept with?"" I proudly replied, ""Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."""
"Say what you will about terrorism in Europe At least our planes take off and land at an airport."
"What do you call sandpaper on fire? Bernie Sanders"
"How do you make a good movie better add Adam Sandler"
"What's the difference between a man and an octopus? Octopus: eight tentacles, each its own neural structure that offloads work from the brain Human Male: one tentacle which controls brain"
"Two muffins are sitting in an oven... The first muffin looks over and goes ""man, it's really hot in here."" The second muffin replies ""HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"""
"Ladies, as you enter this day, remember that one chubby arm photo is going to cancel out the thirty you carefully took of your collar bone."
"Why did the global warming activist compliment the earth? Cause it looked hotter than usual! (I'll see myself out)"
"Shopping for antiques won't make you gay... ...but it will make you buy curios."