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Joke of the Day
"What's a martian's favorite wine? Chardonayy."
Next Joke
"If you want to confuse a teen just ask them what the opposite of literally is."
"My cat sleeps on the refrigerator... I get to see her every 30 min"
"Two blondes are drawing money from an ATM. One of them says to the other... I love the sound of money being printed."
"I'm starting to think my neighbor is a drug dealer... for one, he has like 10 cellphones... and secondly, he sells me drugs like everyday."
"HOW TO START A CONVERSATION ON THE BUS: Look longingly out the window and remark, ""Such a shame this is all just gonna burn."""
"I'm not what you call ""country"" I play support in MOBA games because farming is a foreign concept to me"
"""Act your age!"" I yell at my 11 year-old daughter as I put on my Captain America t-shirt."
"Why will there never be an Asian president? Because the American people could never make it through the erection without raughing."
"National product once got caught picking his nose and eating it thus forever being known as gross national product."