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Joke of the Day

"Oh, you said floppy DISK. *pulls pants back up* Yeah, I don't know what that is."

"Roses are red, your body is fine, I know we just met, but your place or mine?"

"I HAD A PANIC ROOM INSTALLED AND THEN I CAME IN AND NOW I'M TERRIFIED TO LEAVE OMG WHY DID I DO THIS?!"

"Time does'nt exist. Clocks exists."

"Someone stole my copy of Microsoft office.. I will track you down, you have my word."

"So there's this new music attraction at SeaWorld featuring some guy they call Squid Barrett. They refer to themselves as Ink Floyd."

"Two cannibals are eating a clown... One stops and asks the other, ""Does this taste funny?"""

"Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does the same movies over again. Who'll he fight? The same bad guys! Billion dollar film franchise."

"Creep yelling from window: ""HEY SEXY WHERE YO MAN?"" Me yelling back: ""HE DEAD"" Him: ""WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?"" Me: ""HE YELLED AT ME"""

"Seeing as it's almost time for New Years Celebrations for myself Tonight I am an exorcist, as I shall be ridding the house of all Spirits."