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Joke of the Day

"Got in a fight about the Treaty of Versailles. I said the German fines were too punitive; the guy at Starbucks said buy something or leave."

"A student brought me 20 huge homemade chocolate chip cookies today. Good thing I have self-control--I saved one for my kids. To split."

"Just got back from a progressive orgy.. it was an LGBLT"

"I have just read an interesting dictionary. It had literally no metaphors. I'll ^show^myself^out..."

"Where there is a will, there is usually a death."

"I don't care how awesome the Internet is...if we don't have hover boards, then we are not in the future."

""" I saw Lisa today... Dats hilarious!"""

"BEST JOKE EVER Just a corny joke I though off. Hope it brings a smile to your day (: Why was Justin Biber in Frozen? Cuz aparently he likes ""snow""."

"Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!"

"Quit blaming your iPhone. You meant to say ""furbenglurbrn."""