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Joke of the Day

"How to Get There by Ridya Bike"

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"If you're ever unsure whether a person is a muppet or a human try shoving your hand up their ass."
"Let's claim some underground tunnels and start a new society where staring at our phones isn't considered rude and eye contact is weird."
"How many Persona fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. 1 to screw it in, and 1 to complain that it's not dark enough."
"A foreign kid asked me how to speak English the other day, so I teached him some."
"A blind man enters a fishmarket... ""Hello Ladies"""
"Teacher: you can be anything you want Me: Beyonce Her: well, not that (we stare at each other blankly for 17 min...) Me: Hi I'm Beyonce"
"What do you call five black cars that all crash into each other? A three car pile-up."
"What do a carjacker and pervert have in common? They're always cracking in-ya-windows!"
"Ugh, I hate wearing this towel while my wife washes my cape."