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Joke of the Day

"I took my wife to the Planetarium. She was shocked to learn that she is not the center of the universe."

"A rapist, a carpenter, and Alexander the Great walk into a bar They came, they saw, they conquered"

"A Lima bean and a kidney bean walk into a bar. The kidney bean shouts, ""Hey! I'm a bean!"" Then the lima bean replied, ""NO! Lima bean!"""

"My wife doesn't mind me flirting with other women. She finds the rejection quite entertaining."

"How does a tractor break up with its boyfriend? With a John Deere letter."

"No thanks lady, I don't need a tray I'll just use my four hands to carry all these coffee's"

"'maybe the world wasn't ready for pizza perfume' i thought to myself as i hid in a dumpster, watching the townspeople try to eat each other"

"What do you call the study of butts? Analysis."

"If you don't know what introspection is... You need to take a long, hard look at yourself Ian Smith"

"A Nicki Minaj song makes way more sense if you make up your own lyrics."