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Joke of the Day

"Facebook is telling me to ""reconnect"" with my brother...hmmm, I see him everyday"

"What's the loneliest drink? I dunno but its in a solo cup."

"So did you hear about the brother and sister that got married? They opened up an incesteraunt."

"My first day in prison & my giant cell-mate wants to play house. He asks me if I want to be Mama or Papa. I tell him I'll be Papa. ""Ok Papa. Now get over here and suck Mama's dick."""

"Copper is highly conductive of electricity. Does that make it ""powermetal?"""

"The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait."

"I use to worry I was a nihilist... but then I realized I don't care."

"I'm sick of people knocking on my door, begging. There's just been a woman asking for donations for a sperm bank........ I gave her a right fcuking mouthful."

"What's the perfect line of work for a lizard? Re-tail."

"Your Mom's so stupid... That when the teacher asked her to do an essay, she fucked a mexican."