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Joke of the Day

"I'm sick of people knocking on my door, begging. There's just been a woman asking for donations for a sperm bank........ I gave her a right fcuking mouthful."

"DMX is in jail Because X didn't give it to them."

"What happens when you put a soul-singing duck in a microwave? It's Bill Withers."

"The first rule of Illiteracy Club is no reading. That was a test, and you failed. You're failing now. You're not welcome in Illiteracy Club."

"All toilet seats can be heated toilet seats if you push people off them and sit real fast."

"The Simpsons need to have an episode where Arsenal win the Champions League"

"My friend works at a circumcision clinic I asked him if he charges alot for his circumcisions He said ""No, I just keep the tips."""

"Bono heated and cooled his vodka over and over, filtering it to try and get the perfect taste... But distill hasn't found what he's looking for."

"What's a prison executioners favorite beer? Shock-top"

"What do toilets yell when they ride roller coasters? Weeeeeeeee!!!"