26955

Joke of the Day

"FIANCE: where should we go on our honeymoon ME (after hearing there's a charizard hidden at mt rushmore): how do you feel about south dakota"

"My testicles are in The Guinness Book of Records. Got a few minutes before the librarian sees me."

"I met a smelly man who had a way with words He was a pungent"

"Probably the rudest thing you can do to a stingray is catch it with a fishing pole and then fly it like a kite."

"Your mother is so fat... ...even whilst fucking her it feels like a long-distance relationship."

"I personally don't believe in bros before hoes or hoes before bros. There needs to be a balance. A homie-hoe-stasis."

"Why do skinny men like fat women? Because they need warmth in winter and shade in summer."

"Yo mama so poor... ...she can't even pay attention!"

"Arguing with your parents is like trying to explain how to download music from iTunes to a plant."

"Rest in peace David Bowie I love your knives!"