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Joke of the Day
"With all those 'thoughts and prayers' on Facebook it's amazing people are *still* dying."
Next Joke
"What would you call Jesus if he was born in Mexico? The Chosen Juan."
"A nurse goes to write something down, reaches into her pocket and takes out a rectal thermometer ""Ugh, some asshole's got my pen!"""
"What do you call a spitting vampire? Spatula."
"Two statisticians walk into a bar... What are the chances of that?"
"In the Phoenix airport & I just heard a guys laptop say ""you've got mail"". Pretty sure I've landed in 1998."
"Why did Mickey Mouse leave Minnie Mouse? She was fuckin' Goofy."
"Why would you name your human child Hunter? Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist."
"Morning workout: Turn on treadmill. Untangle headphones for 14 minutes. Get frustrated, leave and eat doughnuts."
"I was thinking about you today... Just wondering where I'm going to hide your body."