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Joke of the Day
"Why did Mickey Mouse leave Minnie Mouse? She was fuckin' Goofy."
Next Joke
"How many potatoes does it take to kill an irishman? Accounting for the toxins in the skin of an unwashed potato... about 457"
"The next terrorist attack has apparently been launched in the stall next to me in this Target bathroom."
"My friend begged me to stop playing Wonderwall I said maybe."
"When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like your brother in law Steve"
"Me: For my 1st wish I want a box of Triscuits Genie:Are u sure? U can buy them at any store Me:My 2nd wish is for u to mind ur own business"
"give a man a fish, and he'll just expect more free fish. teach a man to fish, and you can stick him with crippling fishing school debt"
"Apparently Trump is a neo-Marxist He wants to seize the means of reproduction."
"Asked my friend what's he's going to wear for Halloween... ""Probably a condom."""
"I pulled a girl in a nightclub last night. She said ""What the fuck are you doing"" and walked back out."