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Joke of the Day

"Snowy White and the 7 dwarves... Snowy White and the 7 dwarves were lying in bed feeling happy...but happy didn't like it and got out..."

"I just got my medication for my depression. I'll kill myself if I don't take it."

"Little miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey... ...along came a spider that sat down beside her and said, ""what's in the bowl, bitch?"""

"[doc pulls baby out of mom and immediately slides it under his shirt] oh no NOW I'M PREGNANT haha no [pulls it out] just kidding here you go"

"Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? 'Cause they all have phones!"

"Rock stars & earrings Rock stars are known for having multiple earrings or crazy piercings, but no one has topped Kurt Cobain, who went so far as to put a 12 gauge in his mouth."

"Rik Mayall jokes What does a man with a two-foot cock have for breakfast? This morning I had a boiled egg. Why did the pervert cross the road? He couldn't get his knob out of the chicken. RIP"

"""911 what's your emergency?"" - I've been catfished by a dozen men ""We're on our way"" - Gonna arrest them? ""Gonna shut off your internet"""

"Rio declares state of emergency just before Olympics. That's like inviting people to your house for dinner but you have no food. Or house."

"A Pirate walks into a Bar A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his belt buckle. The bartender says ""what's that on your belt buckle?"" Pirate says ""Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"""