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Joke of the Day

"Little miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey... ...along came a spider that sat down beside her and said, ""what's in the bowl, bitch?"""

"Former presidential candidate Senator Sanders falls ill. What do you call him? A sick Bern."

"What's a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!"

"When I was at the beach there was a guy in the ocean yelling, ""Shark! Help!"" And I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"In 20 years, I bet there's going to be a college course called eye contact."

"Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There's liquor and you can't hear them."

"Bee jokes, courtesy of my niece (age 8). What did the bee use to dry off after swimming? A *bee*ch towel. What did the bee use to get out the tangles? A honeycomb."

"if you're in Mecca itself you have to pray while spinning around in circles like a compass at the North Pole"

"What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ? It became a daddy short legs !"

"I bought pink cotton, but my wife wanted purple. So I killed her."