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Joke of the Day

"There are only 10 types of people in this world... Those who understand binary, and those who don't."

"Sorry, just got your text. Are we still on for last night?"

"If I haven't said something mildly offensive today I'm sorry and I promise to try harder"

"The inventor of the remote control died yesterday. As per his wishes, he'll be buried in between 2 couch cushions."

"A boob job sounds like the best job in the world."

"If life were a videogame, what would be the easiest difficulty setting? Straight White Male"

"TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops, wrong sub"

"A little fish uwu Once there was a little fish who wanted to be a journalist, he go ""on air"" and died..."

"911: Whats ur emergency? ""OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-"" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- ""-of my sons mouth."""

"At some point Princess Peach needs to look in the mirror and ask herself what she can do to prevent getting abducted so frequently"