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Joke of the Day

"911: Whats ur emergency? ""OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-"" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- ""-of my sons mouth."""

"What do you call a girl who likes men with small d**ks? Your girlfriend!"

"How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb? None Enough light comes in through the glass ceiling"

"BLONDE BICYCLE Q: Why did the blonde run with the bike? A: It was going too fast for her to get on."

"Why is Monica Lewinsky voting for Donald Trump? Because a Clinton left a very bad taste in her mouth."

"A man walks into a bar... A man walks into a crowded bar brandishing a revolver yelling ""Who's been screwing my wife?"" A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, ""You don't have enough ammo, mate!"""

"Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my shit together & yet still insult me for being full of it?"

"So a husband asked his wife if it was possible to feel happy and sad at the same time..... She responded that he had the biggest dick out of his brothers."

"I want to make a joke about Mexicans... ... but I don't want to cross the border."

"I got caught stealing paint. I thought I hid it pretty well, but I was caught red handed."