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Joke of the Day
"Sorry, just got your text. Are we still on for last night?"
Next Joke
"(Possible trigger) I wanted to smoke a joint with some Mexicans today.. I asked if anybody had papers and they all ran."
"Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside? Because it's Snowden."
"Why did the green bean go to jail? He was disturbing the peas."
"Many call me an elastic band The more you pull, the harder I cum"
"A Woman's tongue & Man's eye, will rest' only when they die."
"If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unnatractive They'd eventually find me attractive"
"Sometimes I wear a tinfoil hat. I'm not one of those wackjobs, it just makes being in the microwave more interesting."
"Bernie has a fucked up Campaign Slogan. As a Jew, why the fuck would his campaign slogan be ""Feel the Bern""? Love the guy, best canidate, a bit flawed and optimistic. Don't kill me bernie bros."
"Standing closer to me in line right up my ass will not make it go faster. Back the fuck up you faggott"