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Joke of the Day

"What do call having to settle for buying corn? Compra maize."

"The easiest way to a man's heart? It's between the fourth and fifth ribs"

"How many people does it take to make a joke on /r/Jokes? Three. One to post it, one to make a better punchline in the comments, and one to repost it the next day."

"Employers are now blocking Twitter at the office. Is there a way I can do that on my home computer? Asking for a guy who should be working."

"Whats the difference between Jelly and Jam? I can't jelly my dick into your girls ass."

"Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because the octopus was well armed."

"It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim"

"Jeopardy Contestant: Saturday night for $400 Alex: This when the song Tennessee Whiskey is playing in the background Contestant: What is Jacking Daniels?"

"Atheism... ... is a non-prophet organization."

"So my neighbour knocked on my door at 3am.. 3 AM! Can you believe that?! He was lucky I was still playing on my drumkit.."