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Joke of the Day

"Me: doctor doctor I cant stop fucking farting... Doctor: *runs out the room comes back with a ten foot pole*Me: OMG!!!!!!! what are you gonna do with that??? Doctor: OPEN UP A FEW FUCKING WINDOWS"

"Exec 1: So, you wait in long lines. No shade. Crying kids. Drinks cost $7.00. Exec 2: Nice. What do we call it? E1: Lol, ""amusement park."""

"You'll never believe who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor! Everybody."

"They irony of being hit by a Dodge."

"Smoking kills. Smoking panics. Smoking tries to hide the body."

"How do hurricanes see? -With one eye"

"Hey little kid in your adorable pink jacket: I'm no kidnapper, but if I was, you would be the one."

"I was raped by a group of mimes They did unspeakable things to me"

"Why Was Vista Afraid of Seven? Cause seven eight ten."

"I sleep better naked. Why is this flight attendant unable to understand that?"