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Joke of the Day

"Smoking kills. Smoking panics. Smoking tries to hide the body."

"Some people wouldn't understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet."

"My sister married a black man He's a lawyer. So now I have a brother in law."

"What is the only reason Bill Clinton is excited about possibly going back into the White House? He gets more interns."

"My ex just called me, sobbing on the phone to tell me she has AIDS and I should get checked. The hardest part is acting surprised."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? As a child, you could have been anything. And one by one, you didn't become any of them."

"What did the computer technician say to the woman about her virus infected laptop? ""Ma'am, we cleaned your dirty bits and suggest getting a bigger hard drive"""

"What do you get when you drop a Piano on an army base? A flat major."

"What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table? I don't knead you anymore."

"Hey girl, did you get your tickets *lips slowly part to reveal a mouthful of tiny little teeth with massive gums* to the GUM show?"