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Joke of the Day

"Some people have skeletons in their closet. I have a whole graveyard!"

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"How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it"
"Ya know who's probably more bummed out than any of us? Bums."
"Patient: Doctor every night i see ants playing football Doctor: It's okay take these pills Patient: No way tomorrow is the final"
"Reddit admins once ate a whole Pizza Hut."
"What they're actually saying is ""I can't even [finish this sentence due to the complexities of being a white girl on the existential level]"""
"I like to pack a healthy lunch for work so that by 3 p.m. I'm ready to do unspeakable things for a piece of chocolate."
"Why did the twinkie go to the dentist? He lost his filling!"
"What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? Salad shooter."
"What do you call a blind dinosaur? An Idontthinkhesaurus."