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Joke of the Day

"Why are gay people bad liars? They can't keep a straight face"

"My old roommate's bathroom was so dirty- -I had to clean the soap before using it. (Seriously.)"

"I heard that Yoga class was a great place to meet women So I went every day for three months. Bad news is I didn't meet a girl. Good news is I can now give myself a blowjob."

"Q. What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper? A. ""Rough rough""."

"""And if you look out to the left, you'll miss everything to the right. Remember, every choice is also a loss."" - Me as a tour guide"

"What's got 8 feet and 10 shoes? The McCann Family."

"Why do elephants have big flat feet? To stomp out burning ducks."

"All is fair in drunk and war."

"If during the first five minutes of meeting a new person, he doesn't tell you he is a vegetarian... He is not a vegetarian."

"I have a job circumcising elephants at the zoo... The pay sucks, but the tips are great!"