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Joke of the Day

"A banker broke up with his girlfriend... He lost interest."

"My dad ""Girls are the devil, always remember that son"" says my married father while we were eating supper in front of my mother/his wife"

"Stand in a crowd, put your finger to your ear secret agent style, say out loud ""target is in site!"", see who panics."

"The museum curator was able to identify the slutty violin... ...it was a Straddlevarious :("

"Who won the Battle of the Bulge? The guy with the bulge in his sock ..."

"What is the difference between God and a police officer? God doesn't think he's a police officer."

"Did you hear that Jared from Subway might have been involved with child pornography? Sounds like he was just trying to beat fresh."

"Nothing makes me more suspicious than an unsolicited compliment."

"Lady Gaga is so nasty I wouldn't even poke her face."

"Me: he's cute, how old is he? Guy: 25 months Me: first kid? Guy: yeah, how'd you know? Me: because you didn't say ""he's 2"""