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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally swallowed a turntable needle. Good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened"

Next Joke
 
"Remains to be seen... ...if glass coffins become popular."
"What is a pirate's favorite letter? [read with a pirate accent when they most likely say, ""RRRRR""] ""You'd think it'd be R but 'tis the C they love"""
"Oh, you solved a murder? I guess that's cool. One time I didn't run over my ex when I saw him crossing the street. I prevented a murder."
"How do you get a bunch of Canadians out of a swimming pool? Say ""Get out of the pool."""
"A gymnast walks on a bar."
"Those girls on the balance beam learn early on that 4 inches isn't much to work with."
"Saying ""unwanted houseguests"" is redundant. I just call them houseguests."
"People say I'm condescending... That means I talk down to people."
"A sick Patient Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."
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