51543

Joke of the Day

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? [read with a pirate accent when they most likely say, ""RRRRR""] ""You'd think it'd be R but 'tis the C they love"""

"I've been pro-immigration but if one more Mexican restaurant tries to charge me for chips and salsa, the deal's fucking off. Comprende?"

"What do you call a penis with a doorbell? A ding dong."

"You want to know who never gets checked for their ID? HumIDity."

"Why are TVs attracted to people? Because people turn them on"

"Man from Nantucket There once was a man from Nantucket, with a dick so long he could suck it. As he wiped off his chin he said with a grin, if my ear was a cunt I would fuck it."

"Mute goes to a wedding... After the ceremony he won't let go of his dick and everyone's a little put off by his public display. With his free hand, he signs ""Speak now or forever hold your peace""."

"How did Hitler lose weight quickly ? Juice cleanse."

"Since we're doing jokes we made up as kids, here's mine: What did the World Chess Champion ask Michael Jackson? Do you want to be black, or white?"