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Joke of the Day

"You ever click a link thinking you're going to get a free iPad, but all you get is a million emails? No? Yeah, me either."

"Ladies: If I hit on you please don't panic, I am a bachelor and that's what bachelors do."

"Couldn't get to the gym and gained a bit of belly fat this semester... I just had too much on my plate."

"Why don't prison inmates just use liquid soap?"

"What an old women's vagina taste like? Depends"

"Ladies, the next time a guy has the courage to talk to you, remember he's not wearing makeup. Also, remember what you look like without it."

"Autocorrect changed ""meeting"" to ""mating"" and now my boss and I aren't meeting with Bob after work."

"A girl wants to go to the concert... She asked her dad for his permission, and he said, ""no, but you can buy the album, and that's vinyl."""

"Sometimes you have to stop tweeting to have an alibi for ignoring texts."

"What do you call a camel in the North Pole? Lost..... Why the fuck would a camel be in the North Pole?"