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Joke of the Day

"I'm half Irish and half Jewish, so... I'm drinking if you're buying."

"An escalator can never break it can only become stairs."

"If someone ever intimidates you, remember that they're 70% water. Are you scared of water? Well you should be. 400,000 people drown per year."

"The trick to being happy is to keep a positive outlook: For example, my ongoing effort to break the world record for most ramen eaten while single is going great!"

"Hey, Reddit. Time for Michael Jackson / Liz Taylor jokes! Go! Please. I can't think of one and I can just sense that this topic is ripe."

"*Woman throws a drink in my face but I swallow it all perfectly*"

"[NSFW] I wanted to make a gay joke... butt fuck it."

"I like the term urban camper We all know you mean you're homless, but it's less awkward because it has the word camping in it. For all we know you could be roasting smores under a bridge or some shit."

"I got you a paracetamol, I said ""I got you a paracetamol"", I said. ""But I don't have a headache"", she replied. ""Good, then let's fuck""."

"What is French Super Mario's favorite board game? Le Ouija"