26286

Joke of the Day

"Innkeeper: The room is $45 per night. It's $35 if you make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

"Two crows walk into a bar. Before they can order their first drink, they get arrested for attempted murder."

"why do asians have small boobs? Only A's are acceptable"

"Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he's very well off and he can afford the finest ingredients."

"Get your shit together,... or you will die, Aria."

"Find someone who can make you happy, like a doctor or pharmacist....basically anyone who has access to mood-enhancing drugs."

"Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? They keep stealing the green cards."

"[Pharrell eating at Arby's] ""I want a new look"" Like a new hair cut? ""Something crazier"" *notices the hat in the Arby's logo* ""I've got it!"""

"Why do Belgians eat their french fries out of a funnel? They never want to lose a brown one once they've been burned"

"How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King didn't cover his Whopper."