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Joke of the Day

"It's your first time when you high af and you could feel the earth rotating faster than usual... in the opposite direction."

"My dog kept barking at me I'm not sure why hes in love with roofs."

"Weird I always was a little different growing up. People are always coming up to me and asking me, ""Jay, why are you so odd, why are you so weird?"" Then I say, ""How the fuck do you know my name?"""

"How many post-minimalists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. On e to he lp with t he he lp with one two with and the oth there to {}}}}}}}}}}}}} and th e to two with lp he"

"Have you heard the one about the roof? never mind, just forget about it, it's probably over your head."

"why do people keep putting flag overlays on their avatar when tragedies happen? like i've seen it happen with france, brussels, gay marriage"

"An Elf, a Dwarf, and a Man walk into a bar The Hobbit laughs at them and walks under it."

"As an adult, I have to do some lame things like pay bills & have responsibilities. But I can also eat ice cream for dinner."

"*meteor is about to hit earth* Earth: I have a boyfriend"

"What's the definition of a period? A bloody waste of fucking time."