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Joke of the Day

"As an adult, I have to do some lame things like pay bills & have responsibilities. But I can also eat ice cream for dinner."

"What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A Baboom!"

"Researchers say men are 3 times more likely to be the first to say ""I love you"", than women. In our defence, ladies, we don't mean it"

"What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes ? Antteneye !"

"What do Shakespearian Buddhists eat for breakfast? Om and cheese Hamlets."

"My girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me on the grounds that I'm an ""emotionally stunted, unfeeling, uncaring piece of shit"". I don't know how I feel about this."

"Her:""Let's make a baby."" Him: ""Okay! Hold on."" *goes to bathroom* [5 minutes later.] Her: ""Where'd you go?"" Him: ""You meant with you??"""

"There were two snowmen standing in a field, one says to the other... Can you smell Carrots?"

"If you really want to get to know someone, start arguing with them."

"Hey, girl. Are you a potato? because I'm about to. Mash. You. Up. Oh. You ARE a potato. And a talking potato at that. My meds aren't working"