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Joke of the Day

"Weird I always was a little different growing up. People are always coming up to me and asking me, ""Jay, why are you so odd, why are you so weird?"" Then I say, ""How the fuck do you know my name?"""

Next Joke
 
"Is the dog ending in Silent Hill 2 an easter egg? Or is it actually canine in the storyline?"
"Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2!"
"I was walking down the road when I ... ...saw an Afghan bloke standing on a 5th floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him""Whats up, Abdul, wont it start?"""
"Why do they call c-section the caesarian? Because when brutus stabbed caeser A baby fell out. Original shit *drops the mic"
"I like my women like I like my coffee ground up and in the freezer."
"the guy at Subway just put Cheetos on my sandwich. can't tell if he's stoned, or he knows that I am"
"If you think Pi is 3142, then you're missing the point."
"Today is a new day. Be thankful. Do something nice for yourself. Call someone you haven't spoken to in a while. Run with a pair of scissors"
"Spider Man, Spider Man Chillin' in his camper van Kickin' back, drinkin' booze head to toe in sweet tattoos Hang on That is not Spider Man"