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Joke of the Day

"How many post-minimalists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. On e to he lp with t he he lp with one two with and the oth there to {}}}}}}}}}}}}} and th e to two with lp he"

"Why do vegetarian chefs type with their feet? Because they have great toe fu."

"Said Helvetica Narrow to Helvetica Bold: ""Hey, you're just my type."""

"I can't watch porn with a storyline cause I get too invested and end up worrying about the delivery man losing his job for taking so long :("

"What do Ryan Lochte and the water in Rio have in common? They're both full of shit."

"My sister told the police that I mistreat my pets. My own little sister! I guess that's the thanks I get for giving her a goldfish necklace."

"BB8, are you hungry? No, BB8."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Rastafarian Barbie ...she has dreadlocks and ganja mon!"

"I wanna get on a taxi and after riding around a while without saying anything, tell the driver 'I killed myself on that bridge 2 years ago'"

"Did you see that blind guy walking down the street? No? Well he didn't see you either."