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Joke of the Day

"Movie Law: All computer hackers have to say ""We're in"" when they get into ""the system"""

"Dictators make great rulers... if you make a bunch of one centimeter marks on them while they're asleep."

"Me: There's nothing better than a quiet evening out with friends after a hectic week. Tequila: We're gonna fight every girl in this bar!"

"Isn't this whole Ashley Madison hack exactly what their users wanted? To get fucked by a third party?"

"bacon and eggs walk into a bar bartender says: ""I'm sorry, we don't serve breakfast."""

"The great thing about being a guy is I don't have to put on a ""face"" to go outside. All I have to do is make sure my nutsack isn't showing and I'm pretty much golden"

"What's the hardest thing in the morning? Getting your mom to leave!!! Ooooo Thought it'd be a penis joke, didn't ya. Those are to easy"

"I got my haircut the other day... ...and I just saw my barber at the grocery. He asked how I liked my haircut. I told him I didn't like it at first, but its growing on me."

"I was raped by mimes They did unspeakable things to me"

"According to my Nike fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week."