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Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest thing in the morning? Getting your mom to leave!!! Ooooo Thought it'd be a penis joke, didn't ya. Those are to easy"

"What do Santa's little helpers learn in school? The Elfabet!"

"What's the best way to kill a one-legged fox? You make him run across Canada..."

"F*CK You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You And You "

"""Well, there goes the end of my arm,"" said Tom offhandedly."

"ur honor, i call GOD as my witness *jury gasps* *nothimg happens* *slowley, a man w/ beard rises from the stands* damit no Gary sit down"

"It's so freeing to be single again because now I can finally catch up on all the things I've been meaning to do like being really lonely."

"[Knock knock] Who's there? Allah. Allah who? #***ALLAHU AKBAR*** [everything explodes]"

"What's the difference between Americans and Brits? Brits think 200 miles is a long distance, Americans think 200 years is a long time."

"What do you call a fish without any eyes? Boneless chicken"