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Joke of the Day

"My mom laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta."

"""Son, I want to let you know that you were adopted. ""What?! Really?!"", I said. ""Yep! Go pack your things and get ready"", my dad said. ""They'll be here to pick you up in twenty minutes."""

"Yo mama's like a brick..... dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans."

"What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises..............."

"What did the Hitler trains say when they took the jews away? Jewww jewwww"

"BUILDING INSPECTOR: what's this called DARTH VADER: the death [inspector's eyes look up from his clipboard] DARTH VADER: uh the health star"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cicero ! Cicero who ? Cicero the boat ashore !"

"Ants Dancing Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, ""Twist to open."""

"They're giving Caitlyn Jenner ANOTHER TV show Apparently, they have her competing in the Olympics again. It's going to be called ""Drag Races""."

"So the Mayor of London Boris Johnson has knocked a 10 year old boy to the ground... Then again... wouldn't be the first time a British MPs tackle has hurt an under aged child would it?"