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Joke of the Day

"Why do some race drivers hate wet tracks? Because the water is a distraction."

"Paddy wanted to buy a Labrador.. Mick said ""Fuck that, have you seen how many of their owners go blind!"""

"I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 to go."

"What is orange and hangs in my backyard? My nigger and I can paint him any color I want."

"Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make up everything"

"I've deleted the phone numbers of all the Germans I know from my mobile phone... Now it's Hans free..."

"What did Trump say to Obama? Orange is new black [p.s. - not my original, my friend told me this one]"

"What's the only animal that can't get hit in the head? Duck."

"Why did the condom fly across the room? It got pissed off!"

"Whenever I have sex with my girlfriend, I let out loud, deep breaths. I used to feel embarrassed about it, but she told me that sighs doesn't matter."