6656

Joke of the Day

"Paddy wanted to buy a Labrador.. Mick said ""Fuck that, have you seen how many of their owners go blind!"""

"Some guy who wasn't looking where he was going hit me with a stick today So I beat the shit out of him. And for good measure kicked his Labrador too."

"If you want a medical degree, they're literally hanging on doctor's walls. Grab one."

"Me: ""My elbow hurts."" WebMD: ""Elbow cancer."""

"How does Darth Vader know what Luke is getting for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"PARK RANGER: to be a guide you need to be able to name all the animals ME: no problem [later w/ a group] ME: that's Greg, & that's Linda..."

"Where does a librarian sleep? Between the covers. I will now show myself to the door."

"My boss says I need to work on my people skills & he needs to work on his changing four slashed tires skills."

"Why do dogs turn around three times before lying down? One good turn deserves another."

"There are two types of people in this world: Those that sing in the shower, and those that wank off. ...what song do they sing?"