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Joke of the Day

"A mexican magician says to the audience he will dissapear on the count if 3 Uno...dos...*poof* He disappeared without a tres"

"I heard Plexiglass coffins are making a comeback, but... Remains to be seen."

"Kid, ""Mom, Dad, I'm in love with a gopher from a funny animal video."" Parent, ""The Bible says Adam and Eve, not Allen! Allen! Allen! Steve!"""

"I have been a prostitute for 40 years and I only have one piece of advice. Always enjoy the small things."

"Two birds are sitting on a perch... The first one says, ""Hey... do you smell fish?"""

"My electric toothbrush ran out of batteries so I had to brush with my acoustic."

"Did you hear about the guy who accidently used super glue instead of lube while having sex? He's now a man trapped in a woman's body.."

"Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram have taught us that for every giant technological leap ahead, we will find a way to use it for dumb crap"

"I cleaned my wood floors with furniture polish and now I'm a pretty pretty ice dancer."

"Police Chief: As a recruit you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother? New Recruit: Call for backup!"