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Joke of the Day

"Coffee is the silent victim in our house... It gets mugged every day."

"Why didnt Jesus become a boxer? Crosses killed him."

"As a girl who lifts weights at the gym... I experience a lot of flexual tension"

"The guy at the urinal next to me must really like my wrist watch."

"Why did the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out."

"I wondered why everyone said I had ""bed hair"", until I looked in the mirror and noticed a tiny mattress on top of my head."

"I got hit in the head with a can of soda today I'm lucky though it was a soft drink"

"wife: We really need to start teaching 9 some manners me: *shoving an entire Pop-Tart in my mouth and spitting crumbs everywhere* I agree"

"So my buddy thought it'd be a good idea to get an inspirational tattoo on his forehead... Boy, was his face read."

"Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? It's too tired!"