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Joke of the Day

"Michelle Obama had an awesome speech tonight... I wonder how long we'll have to wait for Malinia Trump to steal it. The part about her black daughters will be awkward."

"My home pregnancy test came back negative. I guess my house is just getting fat."

"How do you get elected president of my pants? By the vote of the Erectional College..."

"What do you call an elephant in a phone box? Stuck."

"Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other ""Pass the soap."" The other says. ""Ice cream doesn't have bones."""

"How do you keep a hard on? Don't fuck with it."

"Why did Santa bring his sack with him when starring in the pantomime? He wanted to have some stage presents."

"Someone stole my pencil sharpener and now I can't stab people anymore."

"Got bored last night and tried looking up the spanish translation of ""do not use"", but it ended up being no use."

"Positive people are less of a person They are missing electrons."