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Joke of the Day

"I would request a bunch of Ambien as my last meal so I would look hardcore as hell by falling asleep at my own execution"

"Doormats are a gateway rug."

"Am I the only one that tests ""forever"" postage stamps by smothering them with a pillow?"

"How do you get a hippie pregnant? You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest."

"Two Irishmen walk out of a bar. Wait, what am I saying? That'll never happen. Never mind."

"brogressives: white males who identify as progressive but won't challenge white supremacist capitalist patriarchy 4 fear of being implicated"

"What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common? They both come when you're alseep."

"Funny how arguing works. We're all ""You clearly disagree with me, so I will now repeat my point with steadily increasing levels of volume"""

"Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It's definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation."

"You only have one childhood, it may as well last your entire life."