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Joke of the Day

"I would request a bunch of Ambien as my last meal so I would look hardcore as hell by falling asleep at my own execution"

"What's the first rule of bug ownership? Watch your step!"

"Girlfriend and I placed a bet to see who was better at Super Smash Bros for the N64 I beat her so badly! I do wish we had a chance to actually play a race before I had to take her to the hospital..."

"I gave all my batteries away free of charge."

"Why do you have to take more than one Baptist with you when you go fishing? Because if you just take one, he'll drink all your beer."

"All I want for Christmas is a stormtrooper who doesn't miss the target every time he shoots."

"Vagina Steak (nswf) Today my husband asked me if my vagina was ""medium well"" yet? Pink but not bloody."

"What keyboard shortcut do the elderly have the most trouble with? Ctrl+P"

"'The victim was beaten with a porcelain angel figurine, suspect confirmed to be an Irishman' 'I guess you could say he was Knick-Knack Paddy Whacked.'"

"This Is A Dirty Joke A white horse fell in the mud"