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Joke of the Day

"Why did Santa bring his sack with him when starring in the pantomime? He wanted to have some stage presents."

"""Hey, Cyclops."" ""Hey, Cyclops, are you still dating Jean?"" ""No, Storm, we broke up. You could say she's my..."" *lowers sunglasses* *eye beams obliterate Storm*"

"[at interview] Her: In three words or less, tell me why we should hire you. Me: I'm good with numbers."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's a very obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"Why do Asians have small breasts Because their fathers only allow for A's."

"What do you call a basement full of SJW's? A whine cellar."

"Possible Fact: If you suffer with freezing cold hands, you are contractually obliged to test their temperature by putting them on people."

"I can't wait until the 50th Anniversary Special... I'm very interested in who JFK will regenerate as."

"What's a Chinese dentist's favorite time? Tooth Hurty"

"""I'm going to slide in and go back and forth until you're satisfied"" -Floss"