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Joke of the Day

"What's green with little red wheels? Grass. I was lying about the little red wheels. Missing my grandpa today. This was always his favorite."

"Just been to the shop and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas. I can't believe the currant exchange rate"

"After filling up my gas tank this morning before work, I realized that I didn't want to eat for the"

"What's the difference between an orange and a baby? You don't fuck an orange after you peel its skin. Credits go to my friend for telling me."

"I just got an email offering ""free bible verses"". You know, because who can afford bible verses?"

"What did the guy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer."

"4-year-old from next door got a whistle for his birthday and I got 1 phone call."

"I really don't understand why people consider alcohol to be a problem. Chemically speaking, it's a solution."

"A horror movie where the girl in the woods actually outruns the mutated chainsaw murderer, then it shows him sadly limping back to his car."

"Why does time go by so fast in Italy? Because every time you turn around you see a dago by."