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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between MLK day and St Patrick's day? Nobody minds being Irish for one day!!!!"

"Two men walk into a bar.. The first one orders H^2 O And the second orders H^2 O too. The second man dies."

"Things Michael J. Fox would be good at Grating Parmesan cheese."

"why did the tomato blush... he saw the salad dressing!"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Doctor: I'll be with you in a minute."

"I'm sorry I poked your baby with your selfie stick but I didn't really know what to do with either of them."

"Just been fined 500 for having a joint in my greenhouse. I guess people in glass houses shouldn't get stoned."

"3 guys walked into a bar to watch football... none of them knew what was going on."

"[Wall Street] ME: haha Hump Day, amiright? HUMPTY DUMPTY *rolls eyes* ME: eh? *nudge* HD: Dude don't- ME: eh? *harder nudge* EH? Oh shit"

"I'm no expert on Masturbation But I hold my own."