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Joke of the Day

"Two men walk into a bar.. The first one orders H^2 O And the second orders H^2 O too. The second man dies."

"Where did Lisa go during the bombardment.. Everywhere"

"concerned about people posting false lunches. lying about the food they ate on here. fraud meals. please start putting the receipts up"

"'I Now Pronounce You Man and WiFi'"

"It's my mate's birthday today. He doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or cheat on his missus. We've got no idea how to celebrate it."

"<job interview> It says here on your resume that you are a ""self-proclaimed man of few words."" Would you like to elaborate on that? Me: no"

"Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere."

"What kind of moron invented the fire blanket Surely fire is warm enough already?"

"If he doesn't sleep with a life-sized replica of you made of human hair and deli meats, he's not as into you as I am."