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Joke of the Day

"Just found out that umbrellas open up. I always wondered why my rain stick never kept me dry. We never stop learning do we."

"I'm at my most Ninja Turtle when I remove a manhole cover & jump into the sewers to avoid making eye contact with someone I know in public."

"Sometimes I'll just eat a plain piece of bread for dinner, to you it might seem like a snack... but to me it's a wholemeal."

"I'm really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti tonight, come on over."

"What do the mafia and a women's pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit."

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a pack of cards. I'll deal with you later."

"The five unwritten rules of life 1. 2. 3. 4. 5."

"I saw a list of what things cost in the 1930s. Great Depression or not, I find it hard to believe people couldn't afford a 20 cent steak."

"What's Jesus' Favourite gun? A nailgun"

"A band director asked his band why it is so difficult for everybody to come in at the same time. A student replied saying... Mabey they all don't fit through the door."