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Joke of the Day

"A very busty woman whispers to me ""I want you to tell me if these look real"" my eyes widen, then she takes out pictures of the moon landing"

"[My relationship with TV] There's nothing on. *watches nothing for the next six hours."

"confuse your coworkers today by telling them you're going to the restroom to do a ""number 3"""

"As a Fat bottomed girl, I'm not sure how we're expected to make the Rockin' world go round. That sounds *way* too much like exercise to me"

"Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes."

"No, YOU didn't tighten the cap on my urine sample"

"If it comes down to Joe Biden vs Donald Trump we should just accept our fates & let a chili dog eating contest determine who's president."

"I've reached this point in life, where I have no idea what I'm doing. I've always been there, I just admit it now."

"My narcissistic friend just became an organ donor... because ""who wouldn't want a piece of this body?"""

"Did you hear about the Middle Eastern beauty contest? Me neither."