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Joke of the Day

"confuse your coworkers today by telling them you're going to the restroom to do a ""number 3"""

"How does the stork bring babies? It pokes holes in condoms."

"A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. ""Och, I look like a pig!"" The man nods, ""And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"""

"Where do you find a quadriplegic? There where you left him."

"Coworker: people around the office think you're too controlling Me: what's that? Coworker: oh, sorry *raises hand*"

"They had to shut down the T-Rex cloning program at the Oedipus Complex. It was on the news this morning. Apparently, the entire staff was eaten by mother-fucking dinosaurs."

"Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing? Pupil: No teacher I'm having trouble listening!"

"I heard the kid who fell into the gorilla pit was actually trying to get the jewelry his mother dropped. He didn't get the gold but he got the silver back."

"Apparently Gary Glitter is applying for the Villa manager's job... after hearing the strikers were Bent, Young and possibly Keane"

"How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at them."