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Joke of the Day

"""Can you turn down the radio? I have a phone call that's going to last the entire car ride."" - The worst people alive"

"My favorite part of Avatar was when Queen Amidala defeated the Klingons by helping Harry Potter & Legolas destroy the White Witch's ring?"

"Bill Clinton is writing his memoirs. They're called ""The Johnson Years""."

"Who is 50 feet tall, has a blue ox and kills co-eds? Ted Bunyan."

"Emotions are like farts... You can only hold them in for so long."

"Can I integrate myself with respect to you?"

"""I love the Fall, the trees are so pretty"" It's fall?? ""Ya, so what?"" [leaves start attacking everyone] OMG THE LEAVES HAVE TURNED"

"Critics of Islam are advocating the use of pages of the Quran as toilet paper which brings into question ones own wisdom for whipping ones arse with bullshit."

"What did the reverend say before eating his salad? Lettuce Pray."

"What did one loaf of bread say to the other? Weirdo."