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Joke of the Day

"""I'm paying a woman to fist my mouth"" is the way I choose to describe going to the dentist tomorrow."

"Why do programmers hate designing flood defence simulations? Because of the overflow errors!"

"what do my ex and my toilet have in common? They both keep bringing up old shit"

"I like my ice cream like I like my women. Plain vanilla, and hopefully if it lies around long enough it will get wet so I don't have to do much with my mouth."

"How many heroin addicts does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning!"

"What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear? White Vans. I'll be here all week."

"How much does a hipster weigh? An *instagram*"

"How I Crossed the Desert by Rhoda Camul"

"It was recently revealed that 25% of women are being treated for mental illness. Scary shit. It means 75% are running around untreated."

"I hear your not supposed to refer to police as policemen or women anymore. Something about it not being the PC term."