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Joke of the Day

"Calculus joke Epsilon is wandering around. Suddenly he sees his friend Delta. ""Delta, it's good to see you! But what are you doing here?"" Delta replies, ""Oh, I was just in the neighborhood."""

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"Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted."
"Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he's gonna get to wear it."
"What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy? If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining."
"Judge:You are sentenced to death. Judge: You'll be hung. Wife from down the back: HE'S ALREADY HUNG! Me: Your Honor please uncuff me so I can high five my wife."
"*newspaper headline* BIDEN'S EMAIL HACKED -'it was easy' the hackers said 'his password was 'password'"
"[Couples Therapy] HER: He keeps pretending he's a doctor. This relationship is dead HIM: I'm calling it. Time of death, 9:26 ME: OMG SEE!"
"She sent me a text saying she wearing something special for me... but every time I ask her what, she says ~ Nothing."
"How do you confuse a gay person? 7"
"""Should I add more liquor?"" is the most ridiculous question I've ever been asked."